The Chronicles of Ash Ketchum, the True Master
by GlassHawk
Summary: A painfully straightforward story that incorporates some of the most overused plot devices in Pokemon fanfics, all written as poorly as possible. I created this piece of perfection for my own amusement, but I figured I'd share it anyways, laugh out loud.


**_Well, what you have stumbled upon here is a masterpiece, a true... okay fine, that's a lie. In any event, I'm not exactly sure what the boundaries of a crackfic are, but this "story" probably comes pretty close._**

 ** _I thought of writing this because I recently read "A Generic Fanfic" by ChaosRocket, which is basically where the idea came from. I strongly recommend you go read that fic as well, it's pretty funny (probably funnier than mine, to be honest)._**

 ** _No, this is not ripping on people who have written stories about Ash getting betrayed, being an aura guardian, etc. The reason I chose them is because they're easily among the most overused plot devices in the Pokemon fandom. This is just supposed to be a light hearted parody I literally threw together in about 30 minutes, maybe less._**

 ** _This was written for teh lulz. Nothing more needs to be said._**

 ** _Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon. Never have, never will. I'm not satisfied with the disclaimer below, haha._**

* * *

 **ALLRIGHT HEY GUYS AND WELCOME TO MY STORY ITS A HAREM DONT LIKE DONT READ OK HERE WE GO OH AND ASH IS AN AURA GUARDIAN OKAY**

DISCLAIMER POKEMONS NOT MINE OTHERWISE THIS WOULD BE THE SHOW

"Wake up, chosen one. We have much to discuss."

Ash woke up, the voice of arceus waking him. as he looked to his right he saw misty and may snuggled into his chest with Dawn and iris on his right.

Ash chuckleld as he got out of his huge bed- his toned 6 pack could be seen undeneath his plain white t shirt, his long luscious hair reflecting sunlight. He charged his aura and teleporteded to the hall of ogirins.

'Welcome chosen one' said arceus when he arrived.

"Hello' said ash as he fired an aura sphere in the sky to display his power.

Ever since the betrayal ten of the legandaries have agreeed to go with you on your quest to win all the regions.

ash scowled as he thought of that day

FLASHBACK

Ash was returning home from the Lily of the Valley Conference, Pikachu perched on his shoulder. Once again, he failed to bring home the hardware, despite finishing in the Top 4, his highest placement ever. Although he was obviously disappointed he lost, he could still be proud of this achievement; after all, he defeated his rival, and in the process won the respect of many renowned trainers all across the land.

As he approached his familiar home, be burst into a laugh as he ran up to the front steps, Pikachu not far behind, having jumped off his shoulder. It felt good to be home.

When he ran through the door, expecting to see his mother, he instead was met with a surprise: Tobias, with all of his friends in the living room.

"Hey guys, what's going on here?" he asked, rather confused.

YOU SUK KETCHUM THATS WHY WERE HERE" yelled Max, shining his glasses.

"Wh-wh-what?"

"i agree your a loser youve never won a tournament becasue you suck" Brock added. Pikachu jumped on his shoulder, giving Ash the evilest look imaginable.

Tobias stood there smirking. It was relatively easy to win over the opinion's of Ash's former friends. Now he had all but ruined his life.

Ash couldn't take it. "AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE DONE FOR YOU, THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME? I HATE YOU ALL!" he yelled as he ran out of the house.

Ash ran to the Pokemon lab. When he got there, everyone was divided into two groups. The only ones that were loyal were Charizard and Raticate, who had decided to return.

"Thanks, guys. I knew I could count on you two," he said as he collected their Pokeballs.

END FLASHBAK

Ash hated that day but he had gotten strong chaizard mega avolved and raticate became his most trusted teammate.

"anyways do you want these legendaries."

"Absolutely well win the lague for shore".

ash felt 10 pokeballs attach to his belt.

"Very well. Remember, chosen one, the fate of the world rests in your hands."

Ash was teleported back to bedroom. the girls woke up.

"Oh ash were did you go" said misty as she kissed him.

I was away, but i'm back" said ash as he stroked her hair.

"Oh ash we missed you so much dont ever leave us again" said may crying

"don't worry i Wont) Asch said as he comforted may as she cryed. Everyone else gathered around too they all loved ash

Suddenly, ghestis appared!

"I have you now. The prophecy will not come to pass."

"NOOOOOO" YELLED ASH as he threw an aura spere. all of his legendairies jumped out of their pokeballs and joined in as well as charzard and the rodent

"NOOOOO I WILL BE BAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK" yelled ghetsis as he was destroyed.

"i did it I saved the world the prophecy has come true.".

"No we did it" said *insert pokegirl here* as she kissed Ash on the cheek.

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 ** _Even I'm not exactly sure what I've just written._**

 _ **If you laughed even once, my mission has been accomplished.**_

 _ **Have a nice day.**_


End file.
